On September 11, 2011, I as an American Christian woman walked the streets (with the group) of the Muslim Quarter, and saw how the Muslim men would look at us as if they were whetting their appetite with their eyes. It makes me shudder, to think.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
This verse was brought into a whole new meaning yesterday.
Yesterday was our first day of orientation-
The things I already suspected and observed were taught. “Women- do not look at the men in the eyes lest they take you for a wife. Do not show your shoulders.”
But the lady that was teaching us and prepping us on Jewish and Muslim culture seemed to be extremely sincere and genuine in her radical statements.
“The Old city is a city of oppression. There will be more spiritual warfare here than anywhere else you will experience. The people are lost in religion, they do not know the Bible as well as you do, (they mostly know the Talmud), they are surrounded by Islamic culture. And depending on who you talk to, it will be very very hard for anyone to trust you. This isn’t America. By being a Christian here, you are bearing the name of the Crusades, the genocides, the Holocaust, etc. That is why they will not trust you right away.”
It amazed me to think that the Jews have not changed since the Bible was written. They still identify each other’s social status by their family and their history. Each child is a culmination of each relative previous. Each ounce of bitterness is almost passed down to them. We would not be speaking to each person individually- but each individual carries the name and identity of their family in this generations and all generations previous. By them truly knowing Christ, they would be cut off completely.
And as she stood before us, with an obvious heavy heart, she paused to let us hear the weight of her words,
“I have no doubt that each of you are called here for a purpose.
I know many people that want to come here, and long to be here, but do not.
God has allowed you to be here for a specific reason.
It’s going to hurt.
It will be the greatest furnace you will experience.
He will burn away your dross in a way that you will never expect.
Your strengths will be weaknesses,
And your weaknesses will be your strengths.
I have never experienced so much agony from one area,
But I know that I would never want to be anywhere else.”
My mood immediately changed.
My heart heavy.
My soul wanting to weep.
I listened only partially the rest of that orientation.
I felt as Jacob, wanting to wrestle with God.
Or Moses, already yearning to complain to Him.
I do not feel ready,
Nor do I feel eloquent,
Nor intellectual (which is necessary to reach these Jews),
Nor do I feel as if I should be here.
I felt utterly inadequate, unprepared, and unsafe.
Our devotions in beautiful gardens in the oldest Protestant church in the Middle east alone are surrounded by the Muslim Mafia.
But God did not give me a time to rest.
Instead, despite my attempts to climb into bed and journal and cry and read,
He brought me to a dissertation of all of the history of the Israelites as we looked at a model of Jerusalem in 70 AD.
He brought me lovely Tori, who had edifying and encouraging words, and many smiles.
And before I knew it,
All of us were sitting on top of the roof of the bazaars at sunset.
One part overlooking Jerusalem,
Another part observing the children flying kites.
And we did worship.
Our worship was clouded by the Muslim towers, which yelled Muslim prayers for all the people to hear and do.
Our worship to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, was overpowering the chimes of a religion separate from God.
And my tears gushed out,
As if a flood of mourning came out of me.
Uncontrollable,
And genuine.
So when we prayed,
I simply felt compelled and heart wrenched to yell with tears I could not relent:
“Who are we, God, to know you?
Who are we, Lord, to have a relationship with You,
When your chosen people are lost in religion,
And duty,
And law?
It is humbling, God.
And I am forced to see it as a privilege to come before You
without sacrifices,
nor a specific place,
but to be at Your feet whenever we are willing.
Lord,
We cannot change culture,
And we cannot change their minds,
And we cannot be mere intellects,
But by your Spirit,
And Your might,
We can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.
Please be with us,
Please be with Your people,
Please use us here.
Your city needs You.
We need You.”
Yesterday, I realized that I cannot submit to my fears.
Not to my fears nor to my feelings.
I must allow God to do all He wants in my heart,
As I completely surrender to do His will.
- Kristin
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
This verse was brought into a whole new meaning yesterday.
Yesterday was our first day of orientation-
The things I already suspected and observed were taught. “Women- do not look at the men in the eyes lest they take you for a wife. Do not show your shoulders.”
But the lady that was teaching us and prepping us on Jewish and Muslim culture seemed to be extremely sincere and genuine in her radical statements.
“The Old city is a city of oppression. There will be more spiritual warfare here than anywhere else you will experience. The people are lost in religion, they do not know the Bible as well as you do, (they mostly know the Talmud), they are surrounded by Islamic culture. And depending on who you talk to, it will be very very hard for anyone to trust you. This isn’t America. By being a Christian here, you are bearing the name of the Crusades, the genocides, the Holocaust, etc. That is why they will not trust you right away.”
It amazed me to think that the Jews have not changed since the Bible was written. They still identify each other’s social status by their family and their history. Each child is a culmination of each relative previous. Each ounce of bitterness is almost passed down to them. We would not be speaking to each person individually- but each individual carries the name and identity of their family in this generations and all generations previous. By them truly knowing Christ, they would be cut off completely.
And as she stood before us, with an obvious heavy heart, she paused to let us hear the weight of her words,
“I have no doubt that each of you are called here for a purpose.
I know many people that want to come here, and long to be here, but do not.
God has allowed you to be here for a specific reason.
It’s going to hurt.
It will be the greatest furnace you will experience.
He will burn away your dross in a way that you will never expect.
Your strengths will be weaknesses,
And your weaknesses will be your strengths.
I have never experienced so much agony from one area,
But I know that I would never want to be anywhere else.”
My mood immediately changed.
My heart heavy.
My soul wanting to weep.
I listened only partially the rest of that orientation.
I felt as Jacob, wanting to wrestle with God.
Or Moses, already yearning to complain to Him.
I do not feel ready,
Nor do I feel eloquent,
Nor intellectual (which is necessary to reach these Jews),
Nor do I feel as if I should be here.
I felt utterly inadequate, unprepared, and unsafe.
Our devotions in beautiful gardens in the oldest Protestant church in the Middle east alone are surrounded by the Muslim Mafia.
But God did not give me a time to rest.
Instead, despite my attempts to climb into bed and journal and cry and read,
He brought me to a dissertation of all of the history of the Israelites as we looked at a model of Jerusalem in 70 AD.
He brought me lovely Tori, who had edifying and encouraging words, and many smiles.
And before I knew it,
All of us were sitting on top of the roof of the bazaars at sunset.
One part overlooking Jerusalem,
Another part observing the children flying kites.
And we did worship.
Our worship was clouded by the Muslim towers, which yelled Muslim prayers for all the people to hear and do.
Our worship to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, was overpowering the chimes of a religion separate from God.
And my tears gushed out,
As if a flood of mourning came out of me.
Uncontrollable,
And genuine.
So when we prayed,
I simply felt compelled and heart wrenched to yell with tears I could not relent:
“Who are we, God, to know you?
Who are we, Lord, to have a relationship with You,
When your chosen people are lost in religion,
And duty,
And law?
It is humbling, God.
And I am forced to see it as a privilege to come before You
without sacrifices,
nor a specific place,
but to be at Your feet whenever we are willing.
Lord,
We cannot change culture,
And we cannot change their minds,
And we cannot be mere intellects,
But by your Spirit,
And Your might,
We can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.
Please be with us,
Please be with Your people,
Please use us here.
Your city needs You.
We need You.”
Yesterday, I realized that I cannot submit to my fears.
Not to my fears nor to my feelings.
I must allow God to do all He wants in my heart,
As I completely surrender to do His will.
- Kristin
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